I'm Back

Many apologies..I haven't blogged in awhile! To say I've been busy is an understatement, but no excuse. One of the things that happened in my absence is I hosted a fantastic just us girls club event. We called it our LOOK event and we had an entertaining and informative guest speaker who taught us about updating our looks and the do's and don'ts of the season. That part of the event was great as usual, but what I enjoyed even more was the portion of the evening when we talked about looking inside ourselves not just our closests. We shared our personal stories and spent time really connecting and in turn, supporting one another. Fabulous, fabulous, fabulous.

Staying Positive

It's hard right now to keep my normally upbeat outlook. It seems like there is bad news at every turn. So, what's to do...try. Try to stay positive and don't stop trying. What do I do?

- Exercise. It boosts my energy even when I'm too tired to do it. I feel better about myself and it inevitable lifts my mood.

- Think. I take the time to reflect and make a conscious effort to live a good day.

- Talk. I pick up the phone and seek out the "sunshine" of my most favorite people in life.

Try, try, try..every day.

Staying Organized

If you know me personally, you know I am a planner. I’m a firm believer in calendars, shopping lists and to-do check lists. When left to my own devices, I often get distracted so here’s what I do...

-I write down everything! And then I organize my thoughts in to priorities
-I think about what I need to do to achieve my objectives. I consider if I need to involve others, ask for help, delegate responsibilities and, I write it down!
-I plan out the time I need to get it done. Really, I plan the time it needs to be finished and then I work backwards. This technique helps me to get where I need to go on time and deliver on commitments within agreed upon timeframes.
-Finally, I actually do it. I can’t say how critical this piece is. I do what I planned to do. Now, sometimes there’s a conflict, a “fire” or the inevitable need for flexibility, but I plan for that too. Things can be reorganized, rescheduled, but the trick is to actually do the “re” part of the job and get it back on your List.

And the best feeling, when you get to check those items off!

Always A Student

I’m still on the back to school track. I’m thinking about how it’s important to continue to pay attention to our own education. Whether it’s taking a class at the local community college or doing a tutorial on some new on-line product or service, the act of keeping your study habits honed really pays off in all areas of your life. Commit to your continued growth- mind, body, spirit. Got to go, taking a continuing education class!

A Much Needed Day Off

I took the day off today. I just had to. After what seemed like weeks and weeks of running both at work and at home, I was out of gas. Needless to say, I had a great day! I filled it with the things I love to do. A long, hard work out, a leisurely stroll around Costco and an afternoon of doing the crossword puzzle while lounging in bed. It was divine. I’d like to say I’m energized, revitalized and ready to go back at it, but can I puleeze have 1 more?!??!

The Importance of Girlfriends

Today I ran into Millicent a woman I’ve known for awhile. She can only be described as a firecracker- full of energy and spirit. Not an adjective you would typically use to describe a 90 year old woman. I’ve asked Millicent what keeps her young. She’s told me time and time again, its her girlfriends. She makes spending time with her friends a priority in her life. She “gives” to them- her time, her spirit, her essence. In doing so, she brings joy into her own life. Giving is truly the key to her happiness. Amazing, but just the way she is. It’s a good reminder for me too and I sure do hope I have ½ of her energy at 90!

Looking Forward to Fall

Labor Day has come and gone. I have to admit, it’s a day I look forward to. I love the fall. I look forward to the cooler days, the change of the leaves and when I first see all those school buses hit the road. I think it’s because I loved school..the idea of learning something new. I guess I have always been a “seeker” of one kind or another. It’s like I also tell my just us girls members, they too are seekers. They come together to learn from one another, learn more about themselves, learn new skills, new life strategies. So, hope you enjoy the Fall too and look forward to all that we will learn together.

Flying Solo

I've been thinking about this party I went to last weekend with my husband. My friend, Elizabeth, came with us. She is in the process of getting a divorce so I called to see if she wanted to join us. I think that’s one of the hardest things about flying solo in our society where most social events are catered to couples. I know, from personal experience, that being in the back seat alone isn’t too much fun.

I’ve encouraged Elizabeth to get out there, find a community of other single women. Not sure if she will or not as it can be hard. After all, whom among us needs 1 other thing to do? I hope she does it. I’ll keep you posted.

My "Me-tourage"

I heard the phrase “momtourage” for the first time today. I love it! Whether, you’re a mom or not, it doesn’t really matter. We could call it a “metourage!” I can’t help but think this is a great way to refer to the people around us who make sure we get our “stuff” done. I personally have loads of help and am completely grateful for it. It helps me stay balanced between my work and home priorities.

Some of the folks in my own metourage are paid and others help, as I help them in return. From my friend Susan who helps me pick out my outfits for my speaking engagements, to Anetta who keeps my house running smoothly to Bari whom I use as a sounding board when I’m having a challenge in my relationship. Likewise, I’m there for them filling the role of their go-to for financial concerns or the resident expert on Cuban cooking.

It’s all about the community we create for ourselves..your own metourage!

An Olympic Success

I’ve been watching the Olympics. Wow, I am impressed with the athletes and their unbelievable achievements. They truly exemplify success whether they bring home a medal or not..well, at least to me. Ask the athletes- they may not say the same.

How will you define your success? By counting possessions, focusing on feelings or something else completely? Make a decision, form an intention, then take action. It takes all of these things to have the kind of success you want for your own life- just ask those athletes on the podium stand.

Welcome to my Blog! This is my first post and to be quite honest, before recently publishing my first book, Now That He’s Gone, a Financial Therapist’s Guide to Life After Loss, I didn’t even know what a blog was! To those of you who just stumbled on this post, a brief introduction of myself. I am a registered securities principal and managing partner of JBT Financial LLC, a financial services firm in Bloomfield Hills, MI. I frequently speak on women’s investment issues. Over the years in my work as a financial planner, hundreds of women from 35 to 80 have come to me as an advisor. But as I quickly learned they needed me for more than financial advice. They needed me to listen to their stories, to understand the challenges they faced. That’s how I earned my honorary title, Financial Therapist. I also founded an organization called “just our girls”. Our group gathers together as sisters who have experienced a spousal loss through divorce, death or other life trauma. We emotionally support and encourage each other while learning skills for our new single life.

So, my goal for this Blog is to share stories about myself and the amazing women I meet. My hope is that every woman who suffers a life-altering loss will find comfort and support here. Hope to see you again soon!

Bev